I had my Eureka Moment this week at work in conversation with a friend. She was telling me about a conflict that occurred between her and her boyfriend due to another female. She found something on his phone and when she questioned him about it he said that it was nothing and that she was just a friend, someone he works with. My friend also knows who this other female is and she has known that her boyfriend has known this woman for a long time. When she told me what happened, I thought about our readings and how they dealt with female and male relationships. Not all relationships/friendships between a male and female have to be sexual, but of course it's the first thing that comes to mind in this type of situation.
Our text says that friendships between males and females are difficult, and they become even more difficult when someone has a significant other who has a friend of the opposite sex. I think that besides jealousy there are other contributing factors. My friend knew that her boyfriend has been friends with this female for a long time, but yet she allows the fact that she is female cloud her better judgment. I also think that self-esteem issues may play a great role under these circumstances.
Ilia
Our text says that friendships between males and females are difficult, and they become even more difficult when someone has a significant other who has a friend of the opposite sex. I think that besides jealousy there are other contributing factors. My friend knew that her boyfriend has been friends with this female for a long time, but yet she allows the fact that she is female cloud her better judgment. I also think that self-esteem issues may play a great role under these circumstances.
Ilia
Ilia,
ReplyDeleteI think you are so right when you touched on the fact that self esteem plays a major role in what clouds your judgment. The thing with me, and maybe all females who knows-is the level of honesty that exists in a relationship. If my boyfriend has female friends that he hasn't said one word to me about-then I think something is funny. If someone is really your friend wouldn't they come up in conversation with your significant other? Maybe I'm wrong... but if he's open with me about his friendships, then I have no reason to think it's anything else. As a woman I do worry that their friendships will reach that point where sex may come up. But I have to have faith that my boyfriend will make his position clear and that they can carry on a friendship. What do yo do when people don't get the hint though? Friendships can go wrong and before you know it you could have a stalker... maybe a little extreme but you never know!